Awkward_Sences on Datingish

Tuesday, 02 February 2010

Told, Yet Asked

Tyler and I are starting to get really serious. We have been "serious" for a while now, but we have been talking about marriage, kids, and the future lately. I am not scared in the slightest about spending my life with him, but I am feeling a little uneasy about how he says things. He tells me that we are going to get married only when he can afford the perfect engagement ring, only when we can afford a house, and only when we are out of college.

I agree for most points to an extent...

I don't want a gaudy ring. I would rather have a petite, bland engagement ring. But, he wants to custom make it.

I don't care where we live right away. As long as we are together. I would love to have my "dream home," but we are never going to be able to afford that....(he says otherwise)

I have decided to go to school to be a Children's/teenager's Psychiatrist. My schooling is going to take 5-7 years(more). So, I will be 27 or 28 by the time I am done. I want to be married before I am 25. He has agreed to get married before I am 26....so I am happy about that.

It may be kind of conceited, but he brought it all up. He always does. I like it. I am just happy he wants to marry me.

It wasnt just being told that he wants things this way, it was like being asked if he could all the same. He wants me to approve of marriage and of him.

Tell Me:
Has your S.O ever brought up marriage? How did you handle it? Did you bring it up first?

Friday, 08 January 2010

Survey

TEN things you wish you could say to 10 people:

1. The reason I am upset with you is because you make me feel insignificant!
2: I cant believe how amazing you are. You make me feel like I am a real part of the family.
3: You are my everything. My soul, my life, my heart! You make my world go round. I love you, forever and a day.
4: I dont know how to say this but I cant express what you mean to me. You give me hope and faith in myself.
5: You are a wicked amazing person. You are above all kick ass and I hope that we see each other more.
6: I miss you. I want to see all of you....you are really important to me...and I hate it that you are far away.
7: I wish you all the best with your job, school, and home life....lets just hope your mom doesn't make things suck.
8: You are a wonderful friend and I miss talking to you....and going to parties and dancing wonderfully.
9: Keep your distance. I hate it when you are around. You dont know how much you make me mad. I wish you would stop talking to me. I cant believe how utterly pathetic you are.
10: I love the way you treat her. She is completely in love with you and I am glad you make her happy.

NINE things about yourself:

1: My birthday is September 9 and it is shared with 1 friend and Adam Sandler.
2: I am 6 foot
3: I have Aspergers Syndrome which is a form of Autism but it is high end. Look it up.
4: I have Marfans Syndrome its a bone disorder but it doesnt in affect me a lot....well it does but i dont care
5: I like to swing dance. I started over a year ago and can do so much now!
6: I know a lot of famous people. Even though I live in Grand Rapids, Mi
7: I cant decide if I want to go for Theatrical Arts, Journalism/Radio Broadcasting, or Criminal Justice yet.
8: I lived in Key West for 2 months and didn't like it. It would have been better just to visit.
9: I love Alaskan Malamutes and Siberian Huskies.

EIGHT ways to win your heart:

1: Kiss me my birthmark(on my forehead)
2: Hold my hand during the whole movie
3: Kiss me with your eyes closed
4: Look me in the eyes when were having sex
5: Walk in the dark with me for 3 hours
6: Make me food just because(baking especially).
7: Eat my food no matter if you hate vegetables(cause I am a good cook!)
8: Sit and read with me for hours on end. Commenting on random things in the books.

SEVEN things that cross your mind a lot.

1: Mom
2: Dad
3: Tyler
4: Andrew
5: Cherie
6: Isaiah
7: School

SIX things you do before you fall asleep.

1: Read
2: Brush my teeth
3: Talk to Lauren
4: Get a glass of water
5: Message Tyler
6: Set my Alarm

FIVE people who mean a lot at the moment.

1: Tyler
2: Mom
3: Dad
4: Lauren
5: Suzi

FOUR things you see right now:

1: Zune Player
2: Mandi's butt
3: Fox Hat
4: Mirror

THREE bands that you listen to often:

1: Say Anything
2: Cake
3: White Stripes

TWO things you want to do before you die:

1: Sky Dive
2: Get Married and have kids

ONE confession:

1: I hate people....I don't consider my friends people.

Tuesday, 22 December 2009

Yule 2009

Monday December 21, 2009

Happy Yule. Even though this was yesterday I feel that this was a little bit of a celebration for the Pagan/Norse community.

I just thought it would be nice to recognize my friends.

So...back to what this blog is actually about.

Monday I went over to my so's house and things were getting "hot and heavy." I usually ask him what is on his mind, but this time he said he was thinking. I asked him what it was about and he said sex. He asked me if I wanted to. I got this sort of lurch inside me...and really considered it before I answered. Was this the right thing/time. What are the consequences of said thing. Will it hurt. Steph told me that it varies. As did many people in my life. I decided that I wanted it. I have for months. We both have but we didnt "give in to temptation." All I can explain the pain as is the pressure like if you are on your period...the pain pressure from that....which, to tell the truth, doesnt hurt that much. It was romantic and sensual and lovely. I am in love with him so it made it all the more wonderful. I love him with every fiber of my being. I cant believe I had sex. I guess it just was the right time. I am so giddy right now.

I have to admit I was scared....but now that its over with....I am happy.

Friday, 04 December 2009

15 Sex Related Facts About Me

So I was reading another blog and her post was this. So, I've decided to make my own list on my Sex Facts:

1. I am still a "Virgin." I have never had a penis in my Vagina.

2. I am vocal when being eaten out. Tyler is more on the quiet side. More recently he has become a lot more vocal when it comes to getting a blow job.

3. After the 3rd time I gave a blow job I am able to deep throat without a problem. :P

4. I had never done anything with a guy before Tyler and he hadn't with a girl as well.

5. I like giving head in a car. It makes me feel like I am "dangerous!"

6. We recently had a contest to see who could be celibate the longest. It lasted a week and I won.

7. I love kissing. More than anything else.

8. Tyler's mom believes we have been having sex since we started dating....I haven't said anything to prove her wrong.

9. I have never been caught doing any sex acts. It makes me feel invincible!

10. For our 1 year we went to a hotel and the front desk called and asked if we were alright because there was a lot of noise.

11. Tyler and I have decided that if the situation presents itself we will have sex. It would be more of a romantic thing...not planned....just romantic.

12. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to be with a woman, but I dont have it in me to try.

13. I used to think sex before marriage was iffy, but sometimes it does "JUST" happen.

14. I only have a 18% chance of ever getting pregnant. Marfans Syndrome and Ovarian Cysts....do not mix well.

15. I told my best friend that I would tell her if it hurt the first time. She has only gone as far as I have and we are both uneasy about it being painful.

15 facts about me. I guess take it as it is.

Tell me: Anything shocking on this list? Make your own? Do you have any feedback?

Tuesday, 01 December 2009

College

I was 18. Took a year off. Spent my summer getting drunk and smoking pot. Registering people to vote. The world was mine. My family decided to move to Key West, Fl. I decided to go to college. I spent the rest of the summer with my grandmother. She was very lenient. I could come home whenever I wanted and do whatever I pleased. So, like a normal teenager; I never came home. I would spend my time with my best friend Nikki. She and I would toke up, play guitar hero, and get plastered. This was a routine for us. I would crash at her house every night, go to work everyday, and do it all over again.

August 22 came. Time to move in. It was nerve racking. I only wanted to get the unpacking done. My roommate was from Africa. Spoke broken English. She was sweet and I couldn't have asked for a better roommate. I went to the lobby on the first day. No one was there. Second day....same thing. Third....SAME! So, I brought my game cube to the lobby. Guys started coming to play. I was the kick ass gamer girl. We would sit for hours playing. I developed a really good friendship with 3 of the guys that played with me. I also met a really nice gay guy. We started hanging out everyday. Smoking Hooka and listening to music all night long.

I met a few of his friends and started going out drinking every weekend. It was fun. College was everything I expected. I was doing wonderful in my classes and people liked me.

I met a guy that looked like a guy from back home. He seemed to like me. We would sit outside talking and smoking for hours. We both hadn't smoked pot in a while and that seemed to be something we both were done doing.

He and I went to a party one night. I drank a gallon of screwdrivers and ended up making out with him. He didn't talk to me after that. He was to drunk to know what he was doing...as was I. I didn't want want thing like that anyways. I wanted to enjoy college. He wanted to study....all the time....or watch porn. We ended up talking a few months ago...He was remorseful. I was callous. But, in the end we were friends again.

In October I was diagnosed with the Flu. I missed 5 straight days of school. My school had a policy...you had to be in the hospitals care for a week to be excused. So, I went home.

I still go back there every so often to see my friends. I miss it there everyday. Tyler and I are planning on going there next year in the fall. I cannot wait. I get to share all the things that mean a lot to me and he gets to experience dorm living.

Life is different after experiencing college life. You look at people differently. In a good way.

Life is good. Even better next fall!

Tell Me: What eexperiences have you had that felt like this? Do you go to or plan on going to college? Ever do something like I did with a friend?